Are closets really just for clothes?

Coming out is a big part of the LGBT teen and adult community. Many television shows have LGBT main characters that come out including Buffy The Vampire Slayer, My So Called Life, Dawson’s Creek, Degrassi: The Next Generation, and As The World Turns. And as of the past two weeks GLEE has been added to this list. The character Kurt first comes out to his friend Mercedes. Then in the next episode he comes out to his father. The father tells him he loves him and is glad he told him.

But as we all know television isn’t always like real life. For many people, coming out is an amazing experience. They’ll have family and friends there to support them and they’ll know that they will always be loved. But for some it can be disastrous. There family can disown them, their friends can leave them. Most LGBT worry about family the most, because you can always make new friends. So if you are considering coming out, ask yourself these questions:

· Will coming out jeopardize my situation at home?
· Is it safe, physically and emotionally, for me to come out to my parents?
· Do I have resources available (both emotional and financial) if coming out changes my situation at home?

Next you need to think of your reason for coming out.

Here are some good reasons to come out:
· You feel confident in your sexual orientation or gender identity.
· You feel like you have the support of family and / or friends.
· You are confident that coming out will help you grow and make you feel better about yourself as a person.
· You feel like the positives outweigh the negatives, and that you can handle possible negative reactions from friends and family.
· You feel comfortable with who you are.

Here are some not so good reasons to come out:
· A friend or partner is pressuring you to come out.
· You feel like you are lying to people if you don't.
· You feel like coming out will make you feel legitimately GLBT.
· You think coming out will make you feel more grown-up.
· You're mad at your parents and want to upset them.

Remember, coming out is a big deal. It shouldn’t be done to make anyone but yourself happy. Sometimes a person will come out to someone else they know that is LGBT. And sometimes the person they come out to tries to pressure them into coming out. But no one else knows when you are truly ready to come out except for yourself. So don’t let others force you into coming out. Coming out is something to do when you are ready.

If you’d like to read about people’s own coming out stories check out:
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingout/a/TeenOuted.htm
http://ilovejesusbetterthanicecream.xanga.com/710503110/my-coming-out-story/
http://witchmale17.xanga.com/709448078/i-am-a-lucky-one/

And of course you can Google coming out. Leave a comment about your coming out story, or the reason why you haven’t come out yet.

And if here’s some tips on coming out:
· Pick a time when you, or the person you are coming out to, won't be distracted or tired.
· Don't come out in the middle of a fight, or an already tense conversation.
· Some teens find that having a conversation in a public place is a good idea because people are more likely to keep their emotions in check publicly.
· If you are concerned about your parents' reaction, consider coming out to a supportive relative, or other adult, first. Ask that person if he or she would be there when you come out to mom and dad.

For the second post, we’re gonna talk about questioning your sexuality. It is normal for teens and adults to question their sexual orientation. It’s also normal for teens to have sexual feelings for the same and opposite gender partners. These feelings could indicate someone’s sexual orientation, but they may not.

Some people believe that sexual orientation is just about sex. As a result some people wonder if it is possible to know if they are gay if they haven’t had sex with the same gender. What people don’t realize is that MANY people realize they are heterosexual without having sex with the opposite gender. We often forget that sexual orientation has to do with more than sex. It has to do with who you could fall in love with.

If you remember sex education, you remember that just about everyone has a sex dream. Does having a sex dream about someone of the same gender mean you are gay? Of course not! For some it may mean that your subconscious is trying to tell you that you are gay. For others it could represent many things. One website says that same sex dreams could mean “you are feeling close to someone of the same sex, or have an issue with a person that needs to be resolved.” Many of us have dreams that we don’t understand. If you think that your dreams may be trying to tell you something, then see how you feel exploring same sex feelings when you are awake.

Some people use the term “Gaycurious” or “Bicurious.” This is means that they are “curious” about relationships with the other sex. Some of these people with usually try and date the same sex to see if they really are GLBT.

If you are questioning your sexuality you can ask yourself these questions:

· Who do you usually have crushes on? Is it mainly someone of the same gender?
· Do you imagine relationships with someone of the same gender?
· If you dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the opposite gender, how did it make you feel?
· If you dated or had a sexual experience with someone of the same gender, how did it make you feel?

If you think you might be bisexual, you can ask yourself these questions:

· Do you feel strongly attracted to people of both genders?
· Do you think you could have a sexual or romantic relationship with either males or females?

Don’t worry if you can’t answer these questions right away. It may take some time for you to discover your sexuality. If you do find yourself questioning, then try and find a GLBT person of the same age to talk to. They can help you understand what made them realize they were GLBT and maybe help you to discover if you are or aren’t.

Come back next week for Coming out or staying in: could the closet not be just for shoes anymore?

Here it is the first post of the Online Gay Straight Alliance. This week I want to talk about Gay stereotypes and what makes someone gay. Please note that when I use the word gay I mean anyone in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) community. So let’s start off with some gay stereotypes.
Some people believe that being gay is just a phase. Many gay people have sought therapy, reverse gay counseling, and some even get married to suppress the gay feelings. Sometimes the feelings can later surface, resulting in divorce or adultery.
Another stereotype is that all gay men will die of AIDs and are only concerned with sex. What many people don’t know is that AIDs is not just a gay disease. In fact women account for 50% of the deaths by AIDs for the world. And gays are no more sexually active than heterosexuals.
Many people believe that gay men must be feminine and that lesbian woman must be masculine. This isn’t true. A person can be feminine or masculine no matter what sexual orientation they are. It’s part of a person’s personality.
Some people, both of the homosexual and heterosexual community, believe that bisexuality isn’t a real sexual orientation. But in fact it is. While some people identify themselves as bisexual on their way to identifying themselves as gay, this isn’t true of everyone. It’s also believed that people identify as bisexual to be part of the trend or crowd. But if you think about it, why would someone want to identify with a community that is hated. It isn’t easy being bisexual, or for that matter any member of the LGBT community.
There are many arguments on to what makes someone gay. Some say that it is part of a person’s biological make-up. Scientists have been searching for the genetic gene for years. Others believe in the “nurture” argument. They say that gay men were the product of overbearing mothers and weak fathers. Some think letting girls play with cars and boys play with dolls makes them gay. These people believe that it’s the person’s environment that makes them gay.
Others believe in the “love” argument. This argument states that you can’t help who you love. When someone develops a crush on someone, they don’t pick the person. It just happens. It’s the same way with homosexuals. They develop crushes on the same gender.
What are your views on these stereotypes? Any other stereotypes you know about? What do you believe makes someone gay? Well just leave a comment so others can read it too. You can make it anonymous if you want. And tune in next Saturday for “Bicurious and Questioning Your Sexuality.”
-WriteOnMySoul

Hey everyone!!! So I can't find a sponsor at Rutherford. The only teachers that would want to do it, already sponsor clubs. So I'm creating an online one. Here's how it'll be set up.

Every Saturday (either during the day or at night) I'll create a post about something to do with the LGBT community. You can comment about your take on whatever the topic is. I'll post links on my facebook so anyone can read this. I'll also create a Facebook group. If you have ideas or something you think should be brought up, just email me at thatonewriter17@live.com and I'll post about it. If you don't want to be credited for the idea just let me know. I'm also gonna try and find a place to do a discussion type thing. I'll keep you all updated on it.